Fortunately right now I am 24 so that means I already have
lived 40% of my life. Luckily I am among those people who have access to food
to eat, clothes to wear and shelter over my head. I am really happy with what I
have, I have everything that a person needed to survive. Things went bad and sometime
it was worse than I had thought , but I never blame anyone for anything. Its my
deed that resulted what I am today. Our pasts reflect our present and our
present reflects what will be our future.
There were situations in my life when I wanted to quit
myself but did not had that courage to kill myself. I mourned “Please someone
kill me”. After so many tragic I realized
that it is the journey of my life , its all depend upon me what I do how I do
and that how life will response towards me. As
I said I have already live 40% of my life and I may die a natural death
instead of killing myself .Life is too short to think but before I die I want
change something in my life, I want to make the part of my remaining life
better. I am at this stage of life where I have kicked away my own happiness
from me. I don’t have any regrets in my
life though nothing is going perfect around me . I take all the imperfection as
a lesson of weakness which I can take on the next chapter of my life to make a
better tomorrow. Even in the worth stage of my life I will not blame that part
either, I will not escape nor even tear it off my life, I will take those days
as weakness in my struggling days and face those stage with full courage that I
have.
But at the same time somewhere I think I could write my own
life then there will be no imperfection, no pain, no regrets, and there will be
only love , peace and happiness that what everyone dreams of. Life is
full of twists and turns and we often don’t recognize what do we want what is
our destination until we reach there .All
I want be my own guru and that I have within me, but still I look around to the
world for approval, suggestions, permissions. This why I can’t find my ideal
self and I don’t think nobody really knows how to live the life, and all we
know the observation of our life and the life reflects how we observe it.
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